More Reflections on Birth...

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I had a new client recently comment on a situation I told them about from a birth, and say basically that in that situation there seemed to be nothing I could do to help, (to stop a situation from occurring). At which point they seemed to be wondering, how to get through their birth without something similar happening, and even having me there was definitely no guarantee to a successful outcome.

I have basically been asking myself since that interview a couple of weeks ago, what sort of response I could have given to help encourage and reassure them with. I have been somewhat asking myself if I had done any good for the family at all? I knew from the rest of the labor and birth that surely I must have been helpful. It was just a certain situation that happened that I could only do my best to help the mom deal with it at the time.

What I have decided to tell this other couple though is that, what it comes down to is your choice of caregiver. If what you want is not something that your caregiver is actually supportive of, and then it will be much more difficult to get what you want with them. The real thing to do is to find a caregiver that you feel comfortable with, whom you have done your research on, and you have a pretty reasonable idea that they are willing to work with you on the things that are important to you for your birth.

There are a couple of analogy’s I’ve heard of:
You like apples, and so you go to the fruit market, and you really want apples, but you go to the Orange stand, and ask for apples, you aren’t going to actually get apples. You have a choice to make. You can decide that you will just get an orange and be happy with that. Or you can seek out the Apple stand and buy the apple you really wanted in the first place.

The same works for wanting a certain type of car. If what you really want is a Toyota and you go to the Ford dealership, you probably are not going to get the Toyota you want. Whereas, if what you want is a Toyota and you go to a Toyota dealership, you have a lot better chances of getting a Toyota...

A slightly more complex scenario is if what you really want is Moo Goo Gui Pan, and you go to Mc Donalds or burger king, and ask for Moo Goo Gui Pan, and say you don’t want a burger, they can offer you a chicken sandwich perhaps, but... they do not have Moo Goo Gui Pan, so they simply can not offer it to you! You can then decide that you’ll go ahead and ask for the chicken sand which, and expect to get that. However, you might end up with a Burger, and you can decide to just go ahead and eat it, or try to get it changed to the chicken sand which you asked for. Or you can go ahead and just get the Burger, since that is really what they are good at, since they are a burger place anyway.